the body image movement — words from the wiser

When I think of summertime I think of BBQs, summer vacations, late summer nights spent outside, swimming and soaking up some much-needed vitamin D. You know, happy thoughts.

But for me, the arrival of summer almost always brings an underlying sense of anxiety, judgement, anger and disappointment. So how can something that sparks such joyous thoughts also be so self-destructive? Ah yes, because when I think of summertime I also think of bathing suit season. The prime opportunity for judgement and exposure both physically and emotionally.

Like clockwork the last few weeks have been filled with body checking, criticism and even thoughts of dieting, which is the total opposite of my M.O. This judgemental state of mind has been uncomfortable, exhausting and frankly counterproductive. So this year I am ready to change my approach to the dreaded bathing suit season. I am ready to embrace my body and the way it is right now, not the way I think it needs to be when I put on a bathing suit or more revealing summer clothes.

If this resonates with you then please join me in embracing our bodies starting today! Below are some ways I am embracing and if you have tips of your own please share, I would love to hear!

What inspired my new approach is the documentary Embrace. I encourage any and all of you to watch it, especially moms and dads. The documentary follows Taryn, founder of The Body Image Movement, as she travels across the globe meeting with women who are redefining and rewriting the ideals of beauty. It was the exact inspiration I needed to help me move from being a body hater to a body lover. Here’s a link to the trailer.

I’m getting curious and replacing judgmental thoughts with self-compassion. This is a key principle of Wiser Wellness and one of my favorite techniques to use when working with clients - #practicewhatyoupreach. For many of us, self-criticism becomes a crutch purely out of habit. In order to change a habit, we must bring consciousness to it, and this is where curiosity comes in. I have found that being curious of a critical thought takes some of the pressure off and that thought then becomes more approachable to explore. After you get curious you have a decision to make. You can either respond to that thought with judgement or with compassion. Here’s an example I used just yesterday.

Thought: You know 4th of July is coming up. You haven’t worked out in weeks. Get outside and go for a run you lazy POS.”

When this thought popped in my head I got curious about it. I reflected on where this thought came from, what triggered it and why there was so much anger behind it. Then I had two choices to make: I could either succumb to the judgement or I could respond to it with self-compassion.

Compassionate response: “Yep, 4th of July is coming up and you will have a great time regardless of what you look like. You have not been feeling well and have been listening to your body, giving it the rest it needs. You will be able to move and enjoy it soon enough. Embrace, Al, embrace.”

These thoughts may pop up all the time for you and you may have to fake it till you make it! When I first started getting curious about my self-talk a few years ago, it was a daunting task because of the amount of negativity going on in my head. But start slow. Maybe make it a goal to combat one judgemental thought a day. Getting curious and responding with self-compassion may be the perfect motivation to explore this new relationship with yourself.

I’m doing what I can and learning to appreciate the current state of my body. I’ve been under the weather the last couple of weeks which has prevented me from working out, being outside and working towards that ideal “summer body,” whatever that means! Although frustrating at first, I am now grateful for being forced to press pause. It has given me a chance to truly listen to my body and be proud to give it the nourishment it currently needs. When you truly listen to and give your body what it needs through food, movement, rest, healing ailments, etc., trust in the work it’s doing.

I have heard so many times, “Ok, I have three weeks to lose 10 pounds. I’ll go to the gym every day and only drink 2 smoothies.” Sound familiar? When we do this type of future planning, we’re setting ourselves up for failure and not taking into account instantaneous hurdles that may pop up. So instead, I have been planning for one day at a time. If my body is feeling good to move, I’m moving! If it’s needing food as fuel, I’m giving it fuel. To expand on this idea, here is a fabulous article on finding your body’s healthy set point. Check it out!

Facing my fears. One of the most powerful exercises I have found is standing naked in front of a full-size mirror for at least 5-10 minutes. During this time you’re looking at yourself, sticking with it and seeing what comes up. I started doing this exercise a few years ago. I remember the first time I did it I looked at myself I had an anxiety attack - that’s how disconnected I was...ugh, breaks my heart. But I forced myself to sit through the discomfort and in the end I found it to be so moving I now do it whenever I am feeling disconnected and you better believe it’s a part of my “embrace” regime!

Some tips: make sure you have the house to yourself and leave your phone in another room - you deserve your undivided attention. If being naked is too much at first, start with taking off one piece of clothing at a time. If you ever become too overwhelmed, simply go back to your eyes - stay with your eyes.

Purchasing bathing suits and clothes I feel my best in. I hate bikinis but for whatever reason I’ve been forcing myself to wear one all these years. I just bought my first one piece and I feel fantastic! So whether you feel your best in a bikini, one-piece, tankini get one and rock it!

In conclusion, some "Words from the Wiser." How to get a bikini body? Put a bikini on a body :)